Parkers Pontifications » random

TOP 8 MORONS OF 2007

Parker — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 02:45:35 +0000

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President JohnWalter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. Hereceived a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spenttwo hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himselfinside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officersdiscovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line,shouting, “Please come out and give yourself up.”
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun,kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two differentautomated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdrawmoney from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and askedfor all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was toosmall, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himselffor three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with arobbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup.When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words:”Give me all your money or I’ll shoot”, the man shouted, “that’s not what I said!”.
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: “Mywife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart”. “Is this her first child?” the doctor asked. “No!” the man shouted, “This is her husband!”
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven RichardKing was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.(hellooooooo)!
8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water,he was laughing so hard.NOW REMEMBER…THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

What next?

Parker — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 17:18:42 +0000

{democracy:2}

Road Trippen

Parker — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 03:27:18 +0000

Sorry I haven’t been enlightening you with my daily tidbits of information… I have been on a road trip to BYU Idaho to visit some friends… I will start back up tomorrow I PROMISE! This is a picture of me and my good friends from high school: Taran (BYU I) Me, Stacey (BYU I), Ryan (BYU P), Nicole (BYU P), Jordan (UVU), Jana (BYU I), AJ (BYU P). We just got back last night and had a blast… Idaho is so beautiful! I put up a link to my Flickr album, check it out yo.

I feel loved when…

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Physical Touch

My Detailed Results:
Physical Touch:	10
Quality Time:	8
Words of Affirmation:	6
Acts of Service:	5
Receiving Gifts:	1

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.

Tag 3 people so they can find out what their love language is.

Take the Quiz!
Check out the Book

Micky D’s Monopoly

Parker — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 20:12:13 +0000

I have to admit… I am addicted. I have every game piece but all the rares (for each color there is one rare). Me and my roommates have been going at least once per day. Plus I have TONS of duplicates. One cool thing though is each game piece has a code that you enter online and it’s like another game (it’s still monopoly, just online). So far I have won one free download (monopoly from real arcade. I will let you guys know when I get my 50 thousand.

Michael Gates

Parker — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 21:35:53 +0000

Today there was an article in the New York Times about this guy, and told his story. I really found it interesting yet strange that someone would devote thier live to living alone in the middle of nowhere. In the article is a link to his website, where there is an AMAZING gallery of pictures.

ON SADDLEBACK MOUNTAIN, Calif. — Walk into Mike Gates’s summer home here and the first thing you notice — the only thing you could possibly notice —is the view. The job isn’t for everyone, but searching for fires from a perch a mile high suits Mike Gates and his frequent visitor, Prairie Rose, who fell in love with him on this very spot. With a wraparound vista broken only by the occasional hummingbird, Mr. Gates has 25-mile visibility on a decent day and more than twice that on a superlative one. The sunrises are pretty enough to make the cold worthwhile, and the sunsets would make a vampire sad to see the day go. But Mr. Gates doesn’t really come to the top of Saddleback Mountain — at the corner of 6,698 feet and the middle of nowhere —to look at the horizon or the hummingbirds, at the sunrise or the sunset. He comes to look for smoke. For the last 21 years, Mr. Gates has been a fire lookout, a sky-high sentry at the front line in the battle against wildfires, which have burned more than five million drought-parched acres around the country this year. Armed with four pairs of binoculars, he spends almost every waking hour prowling a narrow catwalk outside his 14-foot-square shack, scanning the day — and night — for nature’s surest sign that something is ablaze.

I guess you have to have some sort of hobby while sitting there watching for fires, so he has photography. You definitely need to go check out his site, there are some amazing pictures there! http://www.pbase.com/pygmyhippo

30 Things to do Before I DIE

Parker — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 20:24:13 +0000

These are in no particular order, and I understand that some of these may not come true or may change. Which is PERFECTLY fine!!!

Scuba Diving with turtles
Get married in San Diego Temple
Stay politically involved
Own my own company
Make over one hundred thousand dollars a year
Own a Pantera/fix one up
Fix up as many cool cars as I can in my life
Keep my 5.0 until I die
Get married to the woman of my dreams
Be an AWESOME dad
Learn how to fly (planes/helicopters)
Graduate BYU
Go on a mission (hopefully out of the country…)
Be a full tithe payer
Travel to every single continent (including Antarctica!!)
Go on a cruise
Go to Africa!
Participate in the Bondurant Driving School
See the Aurora Borealis
Get a motorcycle
Meet the prophet
Have 3 kids, only 3 J
Live in Poway, CA
Go to all 50 states
Have my own school bus (I have always wanted one)
Follow my patriarchal blessing
Grow a fruit garden (apples, oranges, etc.)
Save someone’s life
Come unto Christ
Be that really cool old guy that everyone likes haha

Hello World!

Parker — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 06:06:13 +0000

Well thanks to my brother I am up and running. I will be messing with a bunch of stuff to get things just right, then its party time!!

This is a quote, I hope it works.

We’ll see. The problem is I can’t get these pictures to fit.. there needs to be some automatic thing that makes the bottom line go below the picture and not the text. Next I will be working on making some albums online, so I can share my pictures with everyone. Yipee!